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Cluck Cluck!

Yesterday, at the grocery store, I had a crazy idea, and decided to buy a whole chicken.  I have previously had many adventures with recipes from online, cookbooks, or my own ideas which have had various degrees of success.  So when I was at the local Kroger, I passed the poultry section and decided to give it a go.

Today, I got the chicken out of the fridge and released it from it's plastic prison.  However, after I cut plastic off, I realized something... the chicken looked like a real chicken!  I could see where the poor little chicken's head was attached.  I could move the little chicken wings and legs, and see just how she ran when she was alive.  I could even imagine her wee little chicken feet attached at the ends of her stubby little leg bones.  Worst of all, as I rinsed it off, all I could think about was how much it felt like a cold dead baby.  Then I found the gizzards shoved up her coochie.  This experience was slightly traumatic.  It almost made me want to be a vegetarian... well, except steak... and burgers... and sausage... and fish... and chicken... I guess it's not a good choice of lifestyle for me.

Then, after finally getting it cleaned, I got out the cookbook, only to realize that chicken takes a long time to cook.  But I persevered.  I heated the oven and mixed up some oil and spices.  Then I lubed up the chicken and tossed it in.  I felt like Sparky when he's hungry at home and my mom is cooking... I just wanted to bark and scrape at the floor in hungry frustration.

But, alas, the chicken was ready to come out.  And it was beautiful.  If I had taken a picture, it could have been put on the cover of a cookbook from the bargain section of Barnes and Noble.  However, after taking it out of the oven, I realized that I have no idea how to cut up a chicken.  So I butchered the poor chicken for the second time in it's life desperately trying to keep skin attached and trying to cut it into the shapes I'm used to seeing chicken cut into.

It tasted delicious though.  So no overall complaints.  But I'll need to ask Google how to carve a chicken.

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vitalrave
Feb. 16th, 2013 08:33 pm (UTC)
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